Oct 27, 2009

Fictionology: A New Beginning

First, a special report, courtesy of the Onion:

Scientology Losing Ground to Fictionology

My only real experience with Scientology was when I was 16 and in Los Angeles with my family.  We walked up to the "Church of Scientology" while we were looking at the hollywood stars.  They wanted us to take a survey, which we agreed to.  A 250 question survey later (seriously), they try to brainwash you by telling you that you have a bunch of faults.  Long story short, you find out after about 20 minutes that they are CRAZY people.  Seriously. 

That's not what I want to talk about.  I want to talk about the tenet of "Fictionology" that says that any imaginary character or idea can be worshipped as a deity.  I like this idea, and now begin on a search for my own fictional deity.  I mean, why not?!?  Walk with me children.

Ok, where do we start?  Here are some fictional characters I like in no particular order...the Kool-Aid Man.  Always liked him...."Oh Yeah!!!"  How about the Terminator?  Pretty badass.  Or, the Predator.

Not sure who or what is worthy of "deity" status though once I start to get going.  What is the criteria?  I mean, the Terminator is a robot.  Kind of a one-dimensional one at that.  The Predator is an alien.  The Kool-Aid Man is a...well, he's a fuckin' pitcher of kool-aid.  Good luck praying to that.  Probably better off with the robot, but then you probably need something a little more well rounded.  Say...Data from Star Trek.

I think I need to call in some support before we even attempt to take this task on.  Steve, help me figure out how to go about this before I end up worshipping an android.  Thoughts?

3 comments:

Steve said...

Test

Anonymous said...

I think you are looking at this through the wrong end of the binoculars.

Worshipping a deity is so 1st century. If we are going for Fictionology, simply imagine your own fictional worshippers. I'm not talking about starting a cult…quite the contrary. Simply invent your own worshipers.

Like the Lilliputians or the seven dwarfs or better yet an entire species like "I am considered a god by all water fowl. It's weird, but for some reason ducks, geese, and penguins believe I am their god." And when people say "That's crazy" you can reply with "That's what I've been trying to tell them but they just think I'm being a humble god."

Then finish by saying, "But the sacrificial offerings are very tasty so I can't complain."

Of course you'll do all of this with a Donald Duck voice.

Ryan McDonald said...

That is sheer genius.