Fictionology: A New Beginning

First, a special report, courtesy of the Onion:

Scientology Losing Ground to Fictionology

My only real experience with Scientology was when I was 16 and in Los Angeles with my family.  We walked up to the "Church of Scientology" while we were looking at the hollywood stars.  They wanted us to take a survey, which we agreed to.  A 250 question survey later (seriously), they try to brainwash you by telling you that you have a bunch of faults.  Long story short, you find out after about 20 minutes that they are CRAZY people.  Seriously. 

That's not what I want to talk about.  I want to talk about the tenet of "Fictionology" that says that any imaginary character or idea can be worshipped as a deity.  I like this idea, and now begin on a search for my own fictional deity.  I mean, why not?!?  Walk with me children.

Ok, where do we start?  Here are some fictional characters I like in no particular order...the Kool-Aid Man.  Always liked him...."Oh Yeah!!!"  How about the Terminator?  Pretty badass.  Or, the Predator.

Not sure who or what is worthy of "deity" status though once I start to get going.  What is the criteria?  I mean, the Terminator is a robot.  Kind of a one-dimensional one at that.  The Predator is an alien.  The Kool-Aid Man is a...well, he's a fuckin' pitcher of kool-aid.  Good luck praying to that.  Probably better off with the robot, but then you probably need something a little more well rounded.  Say...Data from Star Trek.

I think I need to call in some support before we even attempt to take this task on.  Steve, help me figure out how to go about this before I end up worshipping an android.  Thoughts?

Sunday Funnies

Little Boy Heroically Shoots, Mutilates Burglar

...and the sun rose on Sunday.

What a great Saturday to be a Husker fan!! Okay, not this last Saturday, but there have been Saturdays that were great.

PAGING HUSKER OFFENSE, PAGING HUSKER OFFENSE.

Geez, I can't even write about this game without getting snarky and pissed off. The next two weeks we have Iowa State and then Baylor. These should be blowouts. Defensively, I am not too worried. If we don't score at least 30 in these next two games, I hope Tom Osborne doesn't give Bo Pelini his meds, and lets him go all Wolverine on someone (Coaches Cotton and Watson come to mind).

Ryan's Hawkeyes crack the top ten, and deservedly so.

Enjoy!

Things aren't always what they seem.

The Red River "Rivalry"

I would like to register my complaint now that one of the greatest rivalries in all of college football has been renamed for the sake of "political correctness".  Oklahoma and Texas play annually at a neutral site in a game that nearly always has national title implications.  For those who don't know, a little background courtesy of Wikipedia:

"The Red River Rivalry, commonly known as the Red River Shootout, is a common name for the annual college football game between the University of Texas Longhorns and the University of Oklahoma Sooners. The series is considered one of the greatest rivalries in American sports. The name is derived from the Red River that forms part of the boundary between the U.S. states of Texas and Oklahoma. The game originated in 1900, while Oklahoma was still a United States territory and the Oklahoma campus was still in Oklahoma Territory. Until the 2005 meeting, the 100th meeting between the schools, the game was called the Red River Shootout. In 2005 it was sponsored by SBC Communications, and the game was officially renamed the SBC Red River Rivalry, with the word "Rivalry" replacing "Shootout" out of respect to political correctness and a desire not to convey an attitude of condoning gun violence. Since 2006, with SBC's renaming as AT&T, the game is referred to as the AT&T Red River Rivalry."

It is the section in bold I would like to discuss.  The game was renamed after it had been called the "Shootout" for 100 years because.....wait for it......."a desire not to convey an attitude of condoning gun violence".  What?!?  Why would calling a college football game "shootout" condone gun violence?  Let's assume they have a point for one second (which they don't). Shame on all the other athletic events that openly condone gun violence, like college basketball's Great Alaska Shootout, the ending to any hockey game if overtime ends in a tie (referred to as a "shootout"), the opening race in the NASCAR season (Budweiser Shootout), or even the National Boy Scouts Shootout.

I mean, seriously?  Who thought this was a good idea?  Rename the best rivalry in college football, something everyone knows as the Red River Shootout, and change the name because you are afraid of condoning gun violence?  Yet, during this game, we are likely to see commericals for a movie called "Saw VI" where a sadistic sociopath ritualistically murders innocent people so he can prove a point and they can truly "live".

So, let me get this straight....vague reference to a gunfight is a "no", but the endless promotion of consumption of alcohol and movies about murdering people is "ok".  Only in America.

Have fun watching the Red River SHOOTOUT.  Hopefully the game will only inspire fans of the losing team to gun violence.

Although, I do have to admit, the prospect of 80,000 people involved in a large-scale gunfight while the game is taking place would probably increase ratings ten-fold.

Anniversary, Balloon Boy

Happy anniversary to the Husker fans out there. And to the football program. The players. Anyone remotely involved with Husker athletics.

Two years ago today, Steve Pederson was removed as athletic dictator of Nebraska. It was a move that started healing a fractured fan base, and made me personally giggle.

Pederson was the epitome of the word "tool". His primary interest was self-promotion, and putting his stamp on the football program by trying to get rid of anything remotely resembling the past.

Some fun highlights...

2/2004 - Tom Osborne gives an emotional press conference, stating his opposition to the way Pedey fired Solich and asks that NU find a corporate sponsor for the Osborne Complex because TO didn't want his name on the building in the first place, only agreeing to it to try to help Solich with recruiting. He would allow it to stay on there if Pedey had no other options, but his preference is to have a corporate sponsor. TO takes the high road, but essentially says Pedey unethically used him and his name to try to boost fund-raising. Pedey does nothing.

Fall 2003 - One day after completing a 9-3 regular season, Pederson calls Solich into his office for an impromptu 7 PM meeting (while Husker women hoops played at the Devaney Center). Pederson asks Solich to resign, Solich declines, Pederson terminates Solich. Later states his decision was made just minutes before the meeting. Defends this decision saying ,"I refuse to let the program gravitate into mediocrity. We won't surrender the Big 12 to Oklahoma and Texas. The byproduct of excellence in every area of your program is winning, and I don't apologize for having high expectations.

This is the best job in the country, and anyone who doesn't want to win the national championship shouldn't bother applying for this job. I understand we aren't going to win the championship every year, but I believe we should be playing for or gaining on the championship on a consistent basis.I don't feel that currently we are playing for or gaining on the championship."

Balloon boy: the kid was hiding in a box the whole time. I would put down real money that the networks were just praying for a grisly ending to report on. Apparently the family of the boy are real normal types...search for extra-terrestrials, etc. I am just glad we didn't have days of search coverage.

I was hoping the kid would have been in the balloon and after it landed, gave a great big "HELL YEAH, BITCHES!"

Music Video Review

Music videos. MTV or VH1 do not really play these anymore, but they are still being made. My daughter watches music videos on YouTube all the time. It can be enough to drive one to commit atrocities that aren't even legal to print, speak, or think.

Back in the early 80's, I was there watching MTV. Classic videos like Golden Earring's Twilight Zone, Def Leppard's Rock of Ages, Michael Jackson's Billie Jean, and so on. Watch any of those videos today, and tell me then that you miss the 80's. You won't, trust me.

Fast forwarding to today, pop music is so insanely horrible, that I can't even give some quasi-humorous definition of it. It sucks. It's terrible. It makes me want to poor sulfuric acid down my ear canal. I have decided that with one video, turn down the sound, and enjoy.

With the sound down, this could be the best music video ever made. I would embed it, but that feature is disabled on YouTube for that video. Click the link. You can thank me later.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4aEW_Z5Va5s

Welcome to this blog!

Ryan and I (Steve) have been publishing this blog for years. In some unfortunate mishap, all of our material, dating back to the mid-1930's, has vanished.

In this blog you will find sports talk, reviews (movies, TV, books, you), and pretty much whatever else we feel like chatting about.

Thanks for reading, and call Ryan after midnight with any questions you may have.